Worry is something that is an imagined fear of something that has not happened. Most people worry because it makes them feel like they are doing something. You may worry that things will happen to you or, are going to happen because they happened to someone you know or that history will repeat itself. There is also the type of worry that you imagine all the worst possible outcomes.
Whatever the type of worry, worry is something that drains energy and lowers our immune system. And if we are all honest even if the event does happen, the time spent worrying could have been spent on something fun that could have moved us further forward in life or may have even stopped the “event” happening again.
So how to I stop worrying?
How to Stop Worrying – 9 Easy Steps: Video:
For those of you who prefer a good old read:
1. Stop describing yourself as a worrier
To overcome worry you have to commit to no longer describing yourself as a worrier. You need to prove to friends and family that you are someone that is ‘worry free’. So instead of saying things like ‘Oh I just worry so much’ or ‘it really worries me that….’ You can say things like, ‘what will be will be’ or ‘I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it’ sometimes other people around us reinforce our perception of ourselves and that can take time to change.
2. Remember the moment will pass…
Remind yourself that this moment will pass, and regardless of the outcome everything is always alright in the end.
3. Change how you talk to yourself
Talk to yourself positively! We all have that internal chatter that sometimes we can’t hear. It’s the voice that tells you, you are rubbish at something or you are not good enough. The voice that says things like ‘oh I can’t do that’ or ‘I could never do what they did’. So in order to overcome worry- you need to be able to hear that voice and question it and change it.
4. Remember worry is a future fear
Remember when you are worried it is a future fear so focusing on something that hasn’t happened and might not happen is a total waste of time! What to do instead is focus on what you want to happen, feel it and enjoy how that might look, sound or feel for you. Then come back to the present where you are right now and become very aware of everything around you. This is an amazing tool when we become overwhelmed by the stresses and worries of life. Feel your feet on the ground, hear all the noises around you, focus on your breathing and slow it down.
5. Contribute to someone else
Do something that adds value to somebody else’s life and expect nothing in return! Sometimes we do things for others and we do truly believe we are giving freely. However as soon as someone doesn’t do something for us we will highlight all the things we have ‘done for them’ which means you haven’t given freely and this ultimately make you feel bad. To do something for someone else often and expect nothing in return is one of the best things we can do for our souls, the trick is be wise about who you give to. Contributing to others makes you feel good and you’ll be meeting one of the 6 basic human needs.
6. You’ve learned to react this way
Ultimately any emotion that we feel is a learned response or a response that we are choosing to have. Now I know that at the time of intense emotion or worry you do not feel like it is a choice, but more something that is happening to you.
We can however learn to observe who we are being and what our behaviour is and therefore modify those behaviours, to get us the best possible outcome.
7. Ask yourself a better question
How do I want to feel right now? Or what one thing can I do that will remove this feeling? It is possible that the first few times you do this it may make you feel a little better but the negative emotion might still be there. Like going to the gym or learning a new skill it will take practice and maybe even some hard work. When you worry it is just a way that you have learnt to think and process our emotions. Which means because we learnt it- we can unlearn it!!
8. Take action on the things you can
If you have something to do and you are worrying that you won’t get it done on time- take action and just do it!!! Often we can sit about worrying about things that we can actually take action on. So if you are worrying and can take some action to remove that worry then take the action. I know that sounds really simple, but if you’re having trouble getting started on that, visualise the feeling of getting it all done.
If I could tell everyone in the world to do one thing it would be to meditate every day. The affects it has on our brains is astounding and I believe it is the real reason I have been able to overcome depression. Meditation has been a way for me to be able to listen to what I am truly feeling and feel it properly. It has let me understand the emotions I am experiencing and question them in a kind and respectful way.
Remember it can take time to make changes
You see most of our behaviours come from how we have learned to think and process thoughts, it takes time for you to be able to hear your thought processes, slow them down, understand them and then be able to change them to something that is useful to you.
Now what are you waiting for? Go out there with these 9 tips in your ‘tool kit’ and beat worry!